‘How are you? I’ll bet you are soooo excited.’

‘There’s nothing as exciting as having your first baby!’

People can’t help themselves from telling you how you ought to be feeling about any given life event. And pregnancy is no exception. Starting  university, getting a dog, life as a newly wed, emigrating….all the way through to retiring, there’s a societal expectation of this being an amazing time in your life.  Well I’m going to name and own this on everyone’s behalf.

‘It’s completely normal to feel whatever you are feeling’

There are no right or wrong ways of processing any significant life change and anyone who tells you different is lying. Change is many things and Freaking Scary is often top of the tree. As a pregnant person, by turns you may be feeling  ecstatic and excited but you also may well be feeling any of the following:

Anxious

Anxiety is normal. It’s how our  early ancestor’s survived. That said! With a pregnancy (and it doesn’t have to be your first) the weight of responsibility for the tiny and precious life growing inside you can be overwhelming.  

Isolated

The leap to your next life is just beginning. Some of the activities that you’d enjoyed as a non-pregnant person may not be accessible. New life awaits and networks and activities will build but the interim can be tricky.

Irritated (as hell)

I recently went on a trip – as a newly pregnant person. ‘I won’t let pregnancy stop me having fun,’ I shouted to anyone who would hear. I could still go camping, enjoy sport, still enjoy a trip to the pub – ‘non alcoholic drinks/mocktails have come such a long way’. Well. My first trip away from home as unstoppable pregnancy advocate saw my smug, ‘can-do’ smile wilt before you can say ‘condom.’

I developed piriformis syndrome and couldn’t ride my bike.

I didn’t sleep a wink on the uncomfortable mattress

I couldn’t join the others in the hot tub (set too high)

I couldn’t dip in the beautiful thermal pools (bacteria risk)

Bouldering/climbing too risky

EVEN the honey tasting experience that we happened across contained  unpasteurised ingredients

Alone

Given the above, you’d think that anxiety might be more commonly talked about, even validated. And yet, when I googled anxiety and pregnancy, the majority of search results went straight to post-baby references with loads of advice and information around recognising and managing post-natal depression. Does that mean it’s weird that I’m so anxious?

Every emotion is valid. If you are struggling, speak up. No, shout up! Tell someone. Speak to your doctor. Don’t keep it to yourself.

https://www.justathought.co.nz/perinatalwellbeing

https://www.plunket.org.nz/being-a-parent/preparing-for-your-baby/health-and-care-during-pregnancy/antenatal-depression/